Ever wonder why your one-liners flop?
“Don’t: How using the right words will change your life”
By Bob Selden, author of the best-seller “What To Do When You Become The Boss”
So you’re at that great party meeting new folks and you suddenly drop it – your newest, bestest, one-liner – and there’s dead silence. And I mean dead silence. What’s happened?
Maybe you misjudged the audience. Maybe your one-liner wasn’t as good as you thought it was. Maybe your new friends don’t like you. Or just maybe, just maybe, you got the words wrong – the joke may have been OK, but the words cruelled it.
Bob Selden’s new book “Don’t: How using the right words will change your life” will show how you can communicate and really connect with anyone by using the right words. And it’s not difficult to learn. In fact the first simple thing Selden suggests in his latest book is to get rid of the word “don’t”. Why? Simple really; “don’t” only provides the people with whom you are trying to connect a visual image of what you want them NOT to do, NOT to think, NOT to feel or NOT to say. For example who of us has not touched the wall, fence or seat that has a sign ‘Wet Paint – Don’t Touch’? Selden demonstrates how our brain processes the words we hear and then uses these to impact how we think, feel and ultimately act.
“Don’t: How using the right words will change your life” starts by providing five simple techniques to improve your conversations – eliminating ‘don’t’, ‘priming’, making best use of our ‘mother tongue’, using metaphors and the word ‘and’, and words to use that change how you feel. Not only will they improve your conversations, in the process these five techniques will undoubtedly provide you with a more positive outlook.
The second short section of the book provides some tips on ‘conversation busters’ and how to turn these into positive statements by using proven methods such as ‘framing’ and ‘reframing’. The final part of the book then has individual chapters on how to use the right words in some of those really difficult conversations many of us have – for example parents with teenagers (and vice-versa), giving a good friend some critical feedback, and perhaps coping with the conversation with an aging parent.
Throughout the book Selden includes plenty of practice exercises, tips, suggestions and examples of how “getting the words right will change your life”. And all of this is backed by the latest brain research in a simple and clear way that we can all learn from.
Unlock the ‘do’ in ‘don’t’! After applying the messages in “Don’t: How using the right words will change your life”, perhaps your next one-liner will hit the mark.Cover jpeg file